I grew up in a home where parent/child roles were not correctly defined. Being forced to grow up very quickly at a young age, I had very little time to be a child. This left little opportunity to grow and learn as God intended. Instead I learned that I could not trust others.

With much abuse and neglect in my life, some parts of my development stopped at a very young age. As a result, as an adult, some of the coping mechanisms I used to deal with life and other people were very immature and even infantile. Growing chronologically not maturationally, my lack of normal life skills left me with a life in a huge mess.

After God had given me the ability to see my life was such a mess, I desperately desired growth and change. At this point, God put people in my life to mentor, teach and encourage me towards maturation suitable for my age. Each person played and some continue to fulfill different roles and needs in my life.

God has used these relationships to teach me to trust others, God, and myself in appropriate and healthy ways. Through the trials encountered in these relationships I learned and continue to learn how to deal with conflict. These relationships are also helping me learn what is healthy and normal in relationships. Two of the most important lessons I had to learn are what I should or should not be responsible for and how to set and maintain boundaries in relationships and life in general.

Another valuable lesson I learned is that I am not a monster just because I numbed myself emotionally for many years. I am also learning to feel emotions and how to appropriately express them. Most of all, I have learned to receive and give others love. Additionally, I have learned to receive compliments, which in the past I always perceived as flattery and lies.

Whereas I once lived in isolation with only head knowledge of God's word, I now recognize that God has given me a great support system in His body, to help me learn to live life, rather than just survive. Although I still have a lot to learn, with His grace and mercy I know I will continue to grow and mature first and foremost through my relationship with Him and secondly with His body.